Archive for April, 2011

Still waiting . . .

Hey, Harold Camping campers, y’all remember my offer??? I’m still waiting to hear from you. C’mon guys! I mean, you’re spending all this money to put up billboards warning people of the end . . . so it’s clear you’re not having any second thoughts — obviously, you’re all in, right? You’re a faithful Camper, right?? No doubts. WECanKNOW.COM and all that, right?

So why haven’t I heard from any of you? You know you can’t take it with you, so what’s the deal???

Time’s a-wasting, so, once more, here’s the deal: I’ll buy from you (at .0001 on the dollar) all houses, lands, new (or “like new”) electronics, 2011 Alabama football tickets, luxury cars (if they’re in mint/fine condition), all valuable paintings, jewelry, and antiques — along with an option on anything else that you own — I’ll even agree not to take possession of anything until May 22, 2011, to allow you full usage of your stuff until Rapture Day.

Just give me a call, we’ll work out the details. And you need to get a move on. You’ve only got, what? 24 days left? It’s getting late, so take care of your business!

You shouldn’t leave your stuff to just anybody — give it to someone who cares. Namely me. Give it to me.

And remember, should the unthinkable happen and you’re still here on May 22, I’m the only guy out there who guarantees he’ll sell your stuff back to you (and I promise I’ll give you a great price with low, low interest).

So, we got a deal?

The phone lines are open. Call me.

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Coming home

It is encouraging to know that many members of the Roman church are returning home to the true Mother Church.

You can read about their journey here.

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Woodland melody

For your Saturday entertainment, Bach’s Cantata 147:

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