Archive for September 16th, 2009

Here’s some shocking news: a new study has just concluded that spanking children is bad for them and can have long lasting effects. I know. Don’t worry. I’ll give you a few moments to catch your breath.

The study found “spanking may have detrimental effects on behavior and mental development.” This conforms to the findings of previous studies which have confirmed that “parents who spank are more likely to be younger, less educated, single, and/or depressed and stressed.” But wait, there’s more:

“Spanking is most commonly used among parents who were spanked themselves, who live in the South, and/or who identify themselves as conservative Christians. These parents also tend to believe in the effectiveness of spanking or believe the child is at fault in a given situation, the study said.” Imagine that, people who spank their children actually believe the child is “at fault in a given situation.” AND . . . that spanking will actually be effective! Is that crazy or what???? Wow. What is this world coming to?

But did you catch it? All this is another problem that roots itself in the South and/or among those “who identify themselves as conservative Christians.” There it is. They even used “and/or.” Damning evidence if I’ve ever seen it. Southerners AND/OR conservative Christians = child abusers.

And I say: You’re being redundant. It’s all very obvious. I knew it already. You’re boring me.

[and if you’re tempted to believe this study, give me a call]

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