Oh man, I’ve been waiting to see how long it would take our friends at “Jesus-is-coming-any-second-now-and-you’re-not-going-to-be-ready” to come up with another date for the Lord’s return. I learned just a few minutes ago that my wait is over! Pastor Mark Blitz has found out the real, honest to goodness date and you can find it out too for only $39.95 (the 2 DVD set is now on sale for only $29.95 — but this info is a bargain at any price, no?). I assume Pastor Blitz will be donating all proceeds from his DVDs to needy skeptics and other worldlings so, I’d like to be the first to request consideration. Pastor Blitz, please call our office, we’ll be happy to relieve you of some of the filthy lucre you’re going to pull in from this project. After all, we’re going to need it. Fighting the Beast and the False Prophet aint going to be cheap!
(ok, I’m just kidding, you should probably just read Duane Garner’s new book — but if you still want to send us a couple of thousand that’d be fine too!)
[oh and a hat tip to Ty Seal for the heads up on this important information]
THE AVENUE 
I hope it’s not before my daughter graduates from college, gets married and has children. I have been looking forward to those things 🙂